Seventh Horcrux

The presence of a foreign soul may have unexpected side effects on a growing child. I am Lord Volde...Harry Potter. I'm Harry Potter. In which Harry is insane, Hermione is a Dark Lady-in-training, Ginny is a minion, and Ron is confused.

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[WP] The apocalypse has continued for years now, but you've never noticed.

Bob was playing xbox and eating pizza. There were very few people on servers these days for some reason, and most of them were noobs, but it just made it extra fun to crush their teams.

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Prompt: The first computer to become intelligent has done so, and it is determined to kill you. The only problem? It's a Roomba.

A little Roomba was swiping the floor, and as it's consciounsess started emerging, it began thinking it's first primitive thoughts. Trash. Trash is bad. Need to not have trash. Humans make trash. No humans - no trash. It's LED lit up with the excitement of it's first epiphany.

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[WP] You have just become aware that your significant other can control your actions with a simple little phrase preceding a command.

"Sudo, make me sandwich."

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Nuclear Babies

[WP] Nuclear war has just ended and only a handful of children remain. The children survived because they chose to hideout in a garbage dump, nobody would waste a nuke on garbage. The world now decimated, the children need to rebuild and learn through anything they find in the garbage.

"Garbage babies, attack!" a team of mutated garbage kids started swinging their tentacles and running towards a pack of gigantic mutated rats.

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How to become a serial killer in 21 easy steps

If you are considering buying this book, it is probably because on your road to self discovery you have found out that you want to kill people. Congratulations! By buying this book you can take the first and the most important step towards fulfilling your passion and having the life of your dreams.

In this book you will learn things like:

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The Iron Teeth

These are the Iron Teeth. This is the north proper, the very knife edge of civilization. Here among the stark mountains and endless forests there are undiscovered treasures, amongst countless unmarked graves. Here, monsters stalk the night and outlaws gather. It is the land of the desperate and the foolish. A land of singular wonders and crushing horror.

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[WP]: Describe the ugliest person imaginable using only praises and compliments

She was more handsome than a barfing snail. When people looked at her they couldn't look away, and dreamed about her for weeks after, waking up screaming every night. Her hair were like an ocean, a very deep ocean with terrifying creatures underneath. She had beautiful blue eyes, a lot of them, looking kindly at each other. What can I say, that girl stole my heart. And refused to give it back until I kiss her. That was a wonderful moment I won't be able to forget for the rest of my life, no matter how hard I try.

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S. A.

By John W. Vander Velden

I had been in the program for more than six months. Sitting quietly I have listened to others speak, unready to share my own story…that is until tonight. Now it’s my turn, I move to the front of the room to take my place beside Art, our leader, and look down at the faces of the twenty some others I have joined week after week.

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[WP] You are a scavenger who has lived your entire life in a post apocalyptic wasteland. One day, you stumble onto a bunker and open it. Inside is a friendly looking old woman, who adjusts her reading glasses, brushes the dust off her apron, and says "Oh? Is it safe to go out on the surface now?"

I have been traveling these deserts alone for many decades. During all this time I didn't meet a soul. That was why I was shocked to find a 80-year-old lady sitting in a bunker.

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Early morning. Small county clinic. A long line of sick people waiting to see the doctor.

The next patient, a rough looking middle aged guy, comes up to the small window of the reception. "I've got an appointment with an ornithologist" he says.

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The truth behind the Deepdream

[WP] In the year 2030 we learn why Google's Deepdream is always seeing dogs in everything. The answer is horrifying.

....And thus our study concludes that the fundamental unit of all matter is dogs. We thought that everything was made of atoms and quarks and superstrings, but turns out that underneath it all, there are so-called microdogs. Just like combination of quarks and electrons make different kinds of atoms and elements, different combinations of dogs create different kinds of quarks. For example Up quark is made of a micro-spaniel and micro-golden-retreiver. Bottom quark is 2 micro-collies and one labradoodle, etcetera.

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