Prompt: You are forced under your will to rob a bank with only an airsoft pistol, a satchel full of bananas, and the world's greatest monkey task force.
I took an airsoft pistol, and went to the bank.
"Everybody be cool this is a robbery!" I always wanted to say that, "any of you fucking pricks move, and I'll execute every motherfucking last one of ya! " oh my god I am so awesome.
Everyone obediently froze, and looked at me in fear. The gun looked very real after all. Cashiers started putting money in the bags I gave them - they didn't care about the money, why would they? - and, quite amicably, handed the bags to me.
I said thank you and walked out of the building. Cars full of cops pulled over, surrounding me immediately.
"Sir, put down your weapon!" screamed one of them.
"You first" I said.
Angry cops reached for their guns, but... wait! Instead of the guns each of them pulled out a banana. That's right, assholes, this morning I went to your inventory, and replaced your guns with bananas.
The rest of the plan went quite smoothly. The back of my van blasted open, with dozens of hungry, and extremely motivated monkeys running out of it. The look of shock on cop's faces when they've recognized what was going on was priceless.
The mess and chaos ensued. Screaming cops, fast and furious monkeys, dozens of observers shooting it on their cellphones, too startled to help, and me, making fun of them all.
2 monkeys per cop - the outcome of the situation was not hard to predict: Me, driving my van filled with millions of dollars and some monkey feces to Miami.