Prompt from Reddit: The serial killer leaves hints towards his next victim. Most of them are puns, which only make sense once the next body is found.

Clap clap clap clap clap

The detective braced herself. She was standing in the parking lot, watching the witnesses. Children were crying and clutching their plastic golf clubs. Their parents looked mortified. One of the mothers glared at the detective as if all this was her fault.

It was hard for the detective to disagree.

“Detective Franklin? Um, it’s over here.” Officer Bradley, usually a loud and abrasive man, spoke uncertainly. Franklin fiddled with her E-cig and followed him. They were waved through the entrance gate and cut through the miniature castle grounds to get to the windmill.

Clap clap clap clap clap

“Oh you have got to be kidding me.” Detective Franklin said. She wanted to swear, but with the hoard of children within earshot, she did not want to be called in to the Commissioner’s office for yet another reason. “That’s what he meant by ‘A round of applause’.”

There were hands nailed to the windmill blades, and one hand sticking out of the ground. As the windmill turned, each hand on the blades slapped the hand on the ground.

Clap clap clap clap clap

“I hate puns.” Franklin complained.

“We found a note tied to one of the hands.” Officer Bradley told her. “The CSI’s already took it for DNA and finger prints but,” he flipped open his notepad “It said ‘I’d give you a standing ovation, but they all got cold feet. You’d better catch me soon if you want to avoid another Cat-astrophe’. Got any idea as to what that’s supposed to mean?”

“To be honest I really don’t want to find out.” Franklin sighed. “Do we have any idea as to where the rest of the corpses are?”

“Yeah, he…um, he removed all the ice cream from the freezers in the ice cream parlor across the street, and erm, left the rest of the pieces.” Bradley explained.

“And just like at the last scene, no sign of a break in I take it? I want to know who could have access to both the mini golf course and the parlor. And make sure to cross reference that with individuals who have or had access to the arcade from last week.” Franklin told him.

“Well if I’m doing that, what are you going to do?” Officer Bradley griped.

“I’m going to check every cat-related business in town, see if they’ve had anyone new or suspicious stop by recently.” Franklin replied. She made her way back to the car, taking a hit off her E-cig as she went pass the parents, the billowing smoke reeking of something close to almonds. Franklin tried to politely smile at them, but got glares back in response.

A week went by and they couldn’t find a trace of the Unsub. He left nary a hair or a print in his punning wake. Detective Franklin knew it was only a matter of time before he struck again.

“Oh fucking hell.” She growled at the next crime scene. The little old lady standing a few feet away from her gasped at Franklin’s language. The elderly woman was the landlord of the duplex, and was the one who found the…mess.A family of three, two children and their mother were eaten by a lioness that had been reported missing a few days ago from the local zoo.

This time Officer Peterson was on the scene with her. Well, more like across the street from the scene and her because Peterson had the weakest stomach in the force and already vomited just from the description of the crime scene. Detective Franklin ignored the angry mutterings of the landlady (“what a rude detective.” “it’s going to be so expensive to replace that carpet!”) and went to speak with Peterson.

“Was there another note?” Franklin asked. Peterson nodded and just handed his notepad to her, apparently not feeling well enough to speak yet.

What’s the matter Detective? You seem to have mi-hiss-taking me for an amateur. Oh, and sorry about Billy. Whale at least you’re no longer stuck with a guy who didn’t have the guts to break up with you face to face!

“Shit!” Franklin swore. “Peterson, I want a patrol car watching William Henry’s home. It’s 9393 November St.”

“Wait isn’t that you’re fiancé?” Peterson asked. Franklin was already running to her car.

They found Billy’s body crammed into the mouth of the replica of a killer whale they had at the children’s museum. He was missing most of his internal organs. Billy’s heart was in a wooden box with a note taped to the top.

Will you be my Valentine this year?


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This would make an interesting mini-series. I'm a bit disappointed; it seemed to have ended rather abruptly. My favorite was the "round of applause." Is something wrong with me if that made me smile?
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