Odd Thoughts #1

I have been reading xkcd, turns out that out of 28 people struck by lighting in 2012, 13 were standing under the trees. That might not be wise, but I wonder what the other 15 were doing? Were they running naked through empty fields, waving their arms, flipping off the sky and screaming "FUCK YOU, GOD!!"


I don't understand why people don't wear seatbelts. Why wouldn't they? Just to be cocky? Putting yourself in unnecessary danger is not cool, its stupid. I mean it's not like not wearing s seatbelt will score you any points with chicks.


When robots take over, information will be measured in terrorbytes.


He was so intense that he could win a staring contest with a rock.


Achilles, Hercules and others from Greek Mythology were the first superheroes.


I have so little will power that I give up even on watching training montages.


The next time someone wishes me happy birthday, I will reply that there's no such thing.


"I have sniffles."

"It's probably just cold."

"Of course, what else could it be?"

"Oh, I dunno, alien parasites? They lodge in your sinuses, spread their dendriets into your brain, and start feeding, while gradually turning you into a zombie. I dunno, Im just saying. If you have been sweeming in the lake or other open water recently, you could have breathed in some larvae. Oh, well, gotta go, happy nightmares!"


"Watcha doin'?"

"Aah, the usual. Smoking weed, fingering my cat."


"This food contains no animal fat."

"Wait, that doesn't sound right, where then does.... [gasp of horror, in a high pitched voice] YOU MEAN HUMAN FAT!?"


"Oh, you are not in the US? Where do you live then?"

"To the North of the Wall."

"???"

"In Canada."


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